The Phoenix

Today, I found out my manager passed away unexpectantly. The hurt, the confusion, and the questions all plague my heart.

When my teammates and I were told the news early this morning, the shock and pain that covered us were real. Our minds were deep in sorrow, and each of us sat there replaying our last conversations with him in our minds. Some of us are plagued with regret if those words weren't kind, and some of us are plagued with profound sadness because those words were kind and will be missed.

I said out loud; he definitely left me better than he found me. And that's where I want to dwell today.

The Bible says in Proverbs 12:25 MSG "Worry weighs us down; a cheerful word picks us up." I know it's so cliché to say life is short, be kind to others because you don't know what they're going through, and live life to the fullest, but all of those things are true. I challenge you to be intentional with your interactions with others- give someone a cheerful word. Disagreement? That's fine. You can still honor and respect one another in a dispute.

Often it is easy to get so caught up in how WE feel. Though our feelings are fleeting, they hold us captive and allow us to maintain a grudge for too long, or we end up saying something we shouldn't and later feel regret and shame, which overpowers the good in us, and it's hard to move on from that. The Bible says in Haggai 1:7, "This is what the Lord Almighty says: Give careful thought to your ways." So when you can take a beat and step back before engaging, it'll help you have consideration for others. Though our feelings are fleeting, they are still valid, but before you lash out or say something nasty that you can't take back - seriously, take a minute and ask yourself…. Am I leaving this person better than I found them? Honor and respect go a long way.

As I was driving home, I replayed the words from the grief counselor they provided us. I told her; honestly, I'm tapped out. I've suffered a loss the 3rd month of this year, the 6th month of this year, and now the 9th month of this year- I am tired. And they all have been unexpected- the most challenging part. And she said it makes me wonder what the 12th month will bring.

I meditated on that while driving, and honestly, although these all have been unexpected to me, they haven't been unexpected on God's end. And also, He is a God of unexpected blessings, and I can't allow grief to overpower that truth. The 12th month of this year will prove that. I considered harboring over and laboring over how much more I could handle and bear, and God said a lot more. A lot more blessings and a lot more lessons. So I asked God to show me the strength he sees in me because your girl is tapped- and He said He will. And I believe he will. My intimacy and relationship with God allow me to believe that truth without a doubt while I am in the midst of this. I believe it'll be true because I know I will stand as a testimony that even though I've suffered hit after hit, you can rebuild after so much loss. And you don't have to stay stuck. My response to this can leave people better than I found them.

Sometimes things happen to you because God trusts you to be his example of goodness and truth. And knows you're not a reservoir but a mighty rushing river that will be obedient to his words.

I read a quote a couple of days ago from an older devotional from September 19th, 2018. It popped up on my Facebook memories and said, "Don't ever qualify yourself as an expert on suffering. When you give glory to God in your suffering, you will pull yourself up and everyone around you out of the pit." First off, how timely is my God? Because that was a timely message. Who knew I would need that message 2 days after reading it? God did. That is the mustard seed of hope that God knew would come in handy.

Although, this is sad. And not everyone can relate to the passing of someone recently or even relate to loss in this season -The moral of this story are these two things. Watch your thoughts and manage your tongue because out of the heart, the mouth speaks, and you can be responsible for tearing someone down or lifting others up. Leave people better than you found them. And also, nothing happens to you that is a shocker or surprise to God. Your wins and losses are not a surprise. And don't try and predict what God can and will do. Unexpected can be good or bad, but unexpected doesn't mean unprepared. Whether it's an unexpected loss- God has probably been increasing your community so that you're not alone, and if it's an unexpected blessing, he has been equipping you daily for it in minuscule ways that will be so impactful when you capture the moment.

Know that God is God. Unchangeable, dependable, all-powerful God. And if you stay in his presence no matter the circumstances, he will for sure leave you better than he found you. 2 Timothy 2:13

Please send prayers up for my DDF2 team! We are the phoenix, and we're always rising.