Stillwater

Before God gives, He prepares…..

Storytime:

I was in my 6th year living in Phoenix when I was ready for a change. Desperately needed a change. I was stuck. I was slowly kicking depression butt at the time and was ready to start a new chapter. Now that I felt more stable, I was ready to take hold of God's vision for my life. And get out of the dry heat.

So, I began looking for jobs in May 2019, knowing I ultimately wanted to live in Texas. Before moving to Arizona a few years prior, I had wanted to live there, but it wasn't time. Nothing ever came from my job hunt in Texas in 2019- and I knew, at least from experience, that I wanted to be where God wanted me to be, or else I would be laboring in vain. Been there, done that was not trying to go back to that lesson.

Anyway, I didn't have much success job hunting either because the salary was too low or the culture just didn't fit who I was, and at this point, I was feeling stuck again, so I only had a little hope. Fast forward to late June, a recruiter reached out to me (I had never applied) about a role in Stillwater, Oklahoma. Yes….. Oklahoma. She reached out on 6/24/19, and we talked the next day. Based on the conversation, I thought it was just informational, didn't think much of it, and honestly, I wasn't convinced- it wasn't where I had imagined myself, and Oklahoma was not in my plan. I was desperate to leave Arizona but not crazy enough to want to live in the middle of nowhere. In my mind, I was better off where I was over-moving. But God…after my conversation with the recruiter, I had this pressing in my spirit. One that I couldn't shake, so I went to work the next day and started googling Stillwater. I checked the housing, quality of life, and what was near. And I said out loud oh my goodness, Jesus, you're really about to send me to Oklahoma. What, where, why, how? It is difficult to describe the feeling I felt that day, knowing my sweet Jesus was about to send me to Timbuktu. And knew it before they even offered me a job.

God gave me time to let it settle in my spirit because I didn't hear from anyone for a month after that. I had started looking again at other jobs, but I'd always find myself googling something in Oklahoma. Then the store manager called me one day in late July, and we talked for an hour. I needed clarification on why he was calling. I had assumed that they had filled the position since it had been so long. And I had never officially applied, so while I thought about it every blue moon, I didn't think much of the manager calling me. It wasn't an interview-style type of conversation. It was a simple conversation. I was not thinking much of it until he says I want you to speak to our district manager tomorrow, then the district manager said I want you to talk to our regional HR manager the day after, and that would've been a Saturday. Now when you're talking to a regional HR manager on a Saturday morning, you're locked in. A few hours after speaking with the regional HR manager, they offered me the job on a Saturday. My head was spinning because all of this happened in two days. And the time that God gave me from the initial conversation to the time I spoke with the store manager was God preparing me for my next move.

A few things to unpack here. For starters, this is your loud, not subtle, but loud reminder that what is for you is absolute without a shadow of a doubt FOR YOU. And God does not obey time. Time obeys God. What can take years to complete, God can do it in DAYS! I am proof.

Okay, let me finish the story before I get too happy….

I accepted the offer and moved Labor Day weekend of 2019. My dad flew in to help as he always does. He's like my cross-country road partner; we drove from AZ to Oklahoma. Y'all….. There is nothing in Stillwater except 3 Walmarts, a lake, and planet fitness. That's it. The city is a college town home of Oklahoma State University, but if that wasn't there - there wouldn't be much action in the city. It's about an hour from Oklahoma City and Tulsa by rural roads. Across the street from my house were cows. Those were my neighbors. I just want to paint a clear picture of where God sent me versus where I wanted to be. A vast difference. During my second week on the job, they sent me down to Texas to open a new store- it changed everything. And I knew Texas was where I wanted to be. And now, what was once destitute in my heart started to come alive again. I began to hope again, and honestly, it left me a little frustrated once I left Texas because why would God let me see my future but wouldn't let me obtain it when I wanted to attain it. It wasn't until recently that I understood why I needed to be in Stillwater before going elsewhere.

In Stillwater, God rested on me. It was pure and simple. My intimacy and relationship with God were the foundation of every door that would soon unlock for me and is still open. He did heart surgery on me on my long walks around that lake daily. He strengthened and sharpened my mind. He sat me down in a different kind of way. Humbled me. He spoke with me with a different type of tone. He helped me forgive and let go. He put a mirror in front of my thoughts, ways, beliefs, and disciplines and helped shape them into a person who could obtain and sustain all my heart desired. It was the most sacred time of my life. I was so full of hope every day. My worship was just different. Unmovable and steadfast. Even when it got rough and things at work didn't seem like they were in alignment with what God was doing in my life. He never, not one time, took his hand off of me.

Before God took me where I wanted to be, he had to prepare me. Strip me from the distractions and idols that once took his place in my heart. Because God disciplines the one, he loves. And so often, we think he's isolating us to condemn us, and it's simply not true. God has never lost a battle, a patient, a sheep (John 10:7-15). His reputation is that of a father, a redeemer, a friend, a provider, a healer, a way maker - and his words and power are true. I say that because I don't want you to be discouraged when you have to walk on the journey with less… fewer resources, fewer friends, and less visibility because when the preparation season is over, you come out of it not just with more but with overflow.

And it's something about when God places you there in that room or in that relationship- the favor, the flow, the ease about the whole thing is just different. It doesn't mean the road is easier. It just means his grace is more than sufficient on the journey, and you have more freedom to be your whole authentic self versus forcing yourself to settle where you're not welcomed or do not belong. You learn that in the preparation stage. I realized I could build my own table. And you understand you would rather be where God is dwelling versus where he is not, even if that means being in solitude for a while.

Without this preparation season that God ordained, I'm not sure if I would be able to do what only I can do. And with so much strength, confidence, and boldness. Clearly, where I wanted to be was a completely 180 change of where God needed me to be (Psalms 94:22), but I am grateful for the season and the beautiful journey back to strength, hope, and love of myself.

Preparation has to happen for the next level. Deep down in our hearts and knower, we know what God has called us to. And it's scary, but it's necessary. Those 365+ days alone were required. And has catapulted me into spaces my mind can't even fathom. My name is in rooms I have yet to enter because of my preparation season. And the groundwork I put in during planting season. And laying down the pride, the plan, and the strong will I had over my own life made me better. If God is doing a work in you, let him finish it as he promised (Philippians 1:6). Who would have thought that my journey with Christ would improve in Stillwater, Oklahoma? That my trust would be solidified and fortified while I was there? God did. He knows. And the more we resist his will over our own, the more we delay our promise.

The land of milk and honey existed. The children of Israel just had to get there (Exodus 3:17). And couldn't because they couldn't take hold of his will, his way, and his path of preparation for them to become the head and not the tail. Don't let your mind hold you captive. There are things with your name on them that can happen right now. But you're not surrendering what God has been asking you for. Your grip is too tight- let it go. I promise it's better for you to freely surrender than for God to take it from you because, in that case, the lesson can be costly.

Let me repeat it… if God has to take it - it will be costly.

He is a jealous God (Deuteronomy 4:24). None above him. Don't put your desire to control above him or your faith in the outcome above him. Allow God to have unlimited movement and freedom in your life every season.   Welcome in swift change, knead your soil, release your fears unto him and watch God show up for you every time.

Let God lead you beside the still waters…. And watch your life change.