RIP the slip
Obedience is better than sacrifice.
I got my first apartment at the end of my sophomore year in college. My first apartment was 30 miles from my university because it was what I wanted, even when many thought I was insane. And in hindsight, I might've been crazy to do that, but when I am set and focused on a goal, no one can stop me. I moved and made my own rules. I did my own thing. I made bullheaded decisions, I made decisions out of passion, I made decisions out of desperation, all because I could. And when some of those decisions caught up to me and left me broke in some seasons, broken in others, and lonely in the next- I thought I needed to be a recluse. So I did. I hid inside of myself for years.
I sacrificed some fun nights to get back on track, my voice to fit in, and love for the sake of "being focused." I became a shell of myself; I didn't create a safe space for myself after my mistakes. Because it felt like they had cost me everything, and I was so behind. I felt like I should've been further ahead and made enough bad and impulsive decisions that I needed to walk a straight line. Live according to standard and not live in color. And then I heard God say obedience is better than sacrifice. God said live in Matthew 6:25, God said live in 2 Chronicles 20:17, and God said live in Deuteronomy 30:19. He meant it- live. And here I was, believing I needed permission to live.
This idea of needing permission to live stopped me from living. I just existed. It was also hard to dream outside of the traditional box. Guilt, shame, and defeat made me so limited in my thinking. I couldn't dream big I was so worried about surviving that all of my big dreams- dreams that were scary and obtainable if I had just believed died.
If you're like me, things inside of you are bursting to get out. And you keep ignoring them because you think you have time. You think there has to be a perfect time and environment for birth. Words you want to say, businesses you want to open, the life you want to live. But something is holding you back.
This idea of needing permission to live or walking a straight line is disobedience. You're actually withholding your worship from God. He doesn't require you to be perfect or live perfectly, nor does He need you to live safe when he promised you that nothing can separate you from the love of God. This means there's worship in your mistakes and in your good decisions. You just got to get out there and make them.
To live unleashed and fully, we must know God's promises. Promises such as:
"The Light shines on in the darkness, and the darkness did not understand it or overpower it or appropriate it or absorb it." (John 1:5 AMP)
"A thousand may fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand, but danger will not come near you." Psalm 91:7
"Every word of God proves true. He is a shield to all who come to his protection." (Proverbs 30:5)
The above promises aren't the promises we learned to recite growing up, however, but are essential to know. We learned:
Ephesians 6:11
Psalms 23
John 3:16
All are also important promises from God. But as we mature in our faith, we need more than we learned in vacation bible school as kids. If we limit how many promises we know and believe from God, we keep God and ourselves boxed in, and we will constantly need permission for our next move when God says live despite our mistakes. We need to know that God is light- and then you'll appreciate and walk confidently in John 1:5 when it gets dark. We need to know that battles will indeed come even as a follower of Christ, but they did not come to harm you- you may learn to put on the full armor but even with the full armor, know that initial promise- danger will not overtake you. You need to know that God is not a man that can lie- to believe that if he said it, he would do it.
Stop rescheduling joy, peace, and happiness because you're scared of intimacy with Christ.
In the quiet time with God, you learn more about who God is and the power He has equipped us with. More profound promises of the Lord are how you live life without permission despite your mistakes. Throw away the permission slip. God said live boldly and not timidly (2 Timothy 1:7). Waiting for someone to tell you how to live your life is not bold and is disobedience. As a people, we got to get better at trusting God's no's and yes's faster and acting on it. We've got to work on being willing vessels. Tragedy is happening every day in our country, and time is fleeting. Don't you want God to know that he can trust you? With big or small things. Don't you want to live a whole and abundant life like he promised in John 10:10?
It starts by doing something. Good, bad, indifferent, do something. God will steer you, but he can't steer nothing.
Do more of what makes you feel alive. SERVE. Love. Laugh. Take a day off work, wear the fragrance to Target, book the trip, marry that person, tell someone you love them, tell someone you forgive them, open the business, get the credit coach, contact the business coach, have a picnic in the park, skydive, drink Sprite from a martini glass, write that book, serve at the shelter, feel and explore. Don't be afraid to feel, and more importantly, don't be scared to express.
This weighs so heavy on me because I lived in shame. I lived in a season where I didn't ask for help because I was embarrassed and thought I needed permission to make my next move and live life. Which gave me the idea that someone else was going to save me. I gave so much power to that idea, but I needed to save myself.
My dreams felt so far-fetched I lived by rules- rules that maybe gave me structure but didn't give me life, rules that didn't give me color. And one day, amid my mundane routine, God said no. It is time to experience life, to be an example - even with your mistakes, I will give you more life. God told me he was a restorer, and if I was obedient, not just sacrificial but obedient, he would restore. That I didn't need permission to live the life he ordained for me even with my mistakes. I mention mistakes multiple times because it's heavy on me to tell you that you can still be used by God even with mistakes. In 1 Corinthians 1:27, God said he chooses to use the foolish things to shame the wise. This means you are not counted out because of your mistakes, who you are, or what you've done. He will and can still bless you- you don't have to live in a straight line because you're afraid. Throw away the permission slip. Breathe. Because we are completing the cycle of limits today.
No more rescheduling joy. Be obedient to the call on your heart.
TODAY is 7/7, the ending of a thing, and publicly This girl rips up her permission slip. Will you?