Tight Grip
"If you are willing and obedient, You shall eat the good of the land." Isaiah 1:19
I am a writer. I like to write physically; the act of writing is so therapeutic to me, but one day I found my hand aching badly after driving, and I was upset because I really wanted to go home and journal that day, yes, with pen and paper but my hands were so tender I found it hard too. This happened again on another day unknowingly, but when I safely let go of the steering wheel, I realized I had been gripping the wheel so tight that I was hurting myself.
And then the life lesson and revelation came. How many other things in life do I have under a tight grip that are hurting me or unable to grow because I won't let it- or because light can't get in. I think about how can I become a better version of myself, how can I organically walk in my light, how to tap into being authentically me, and how I let life flow versus trying to control the frequencies of the tide. And I learned that when I have a tight grip on my future, plans, joys, and happiness, I am not operating as my authentic self. When I'm analyzing, which is often or deep in thought about my plans for my life over and over to the outer eye, it may appear that I'm doing my due diligence to manifest and work for the life I want, but really it's just worry packaged in pretty words and a pretty face. And what does God say about worry? He says, " Can any one of you, by worrying, add a single hour to your life?" Matthew 6:27. No, Jesus, we can not.
How many of us are like Jonah running away from the voice of the Lord? Because we're afraid of the unknown? We do so by trying to control every detail, not trusting life to happen because we must know the when, the why, and the how. All you really need to know is who said it and see that it will be so. That's your daily bread and mediation - God said it will be so! When you have a tight grip- your growth stops there because no light can get in. And not many things can grow healthily in the dark.
When God calls us to be our authentic, messy selves daily, we don't need to run from that command. We don't even have to be fearful of it. We typically run or try to control our lives when we're afraid of not being enough. He knows who he called, so, Let me affirm you and myself: You are enough. I am enough. Job 14:16-17 says, "Surely then you will count my steps NOT keep track of my sin. My offenses will be sealed up in a bag; you will cover over my sin." So again, I say, he knows who he called.
And also, let us both get comfortable not knowing and walking one step at a time. You don't need to know your next 2 steps. Psalms 119:105 reads, "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path." And Psalms 114 reads, " You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word." Trust that.
When you have a tight grip on life and don't allow yourself to be open to the ebbs and flows, it illustrates that your hope is elsewhere, not in God's faithful and active promises. Our lives are the sum total of the good and the bad, the highs and lows- we've lost our ability to be grateful for it ALL. I know pain is real, devastation floods this earth minute by minute, grief and mourning both are catastrophic to the heart, and all of this makes us want to put up walls to keep from feeling, from experiencing joy and redemption. That tight grip of control that we think we have will limit us from dwelling in the sacred space with God. A space that you enter when the veil is removed. On both sides.
God orders our steps, and we have free will, but we're not in control of anything. So let go of that grip. Let go of the idea that you say who God can use to bless you and what the timeline should be for your future. It's the enemy because your plans don't require God to show up. And if God is not in it, the house will be like the house built on sand. Anything that doesn't have God in it isn't from God. The word clearly states, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans." Proverbs 16:3. Any time we do not do this, we risk being uncovered and unprotected; controlling our own lives leaves us unprotected and uncovered.
Don't wait in your decision-making to let God in because he will establish his plans, and God will have his way with a willing vessel. I mean, He spoke to Jonah in the belly of the fish! Do you think He can't reach you or can't see you? Because He can and he will. Remember, just as the devastation happens minute by minute, miracles are too. New discoveries are happening, joy is happening, and love fills the earth. I hate not to be a part of that number because I don't want to loosen my grip and walk into unchartered territory.
God is almighty, his hand is in everything, his breath is in our bodies, his very nature is displayed in the beauty of day and night, life and death, He is a miracle worker, he's a father, He's a friend, He's the lion and the lamb He is the great I AM- He is in all things, and he is all things. So, you can't tell me your ways are better than his ways when he is the alpha and the omega, the beginning, middle, and the end. He sees you.
So, don't let your desire to control your life suffocate your future with doubt and worry. No growth comes from that. Your portion is blessings, favor, and mercy. Loosen your grip and let life flow.