Dark Grey
2024…. What a year.
This is the time of year when most of us are in heavy reflection mode.
We're reflecting on what went well, what went wrong, what ifs, and what absolutely needs to change in 2025.
I'm a black-and-white girlie. I do not like living in the grey area, but if I am transparent, I've lived there for most of this year. There were no real certainties, which was taunting for a person like me. It feels unstable, and I don't like it, but I know this season was and is necessary for my growth.
So many transitions. So many lessons!
Here's what I've learned during one of the most pivotal years of my life—living in the grey!
Rest. Be still and do it on purpose. On December 23rd, 2024, I went into Walmart, and front and center, there were Valentine's Day cookies. Two days before Christmas…. Christmas hasn't happened yet, yet society is pushing us two months forward. No wonder we suffer from anxiety and are overwhelmed. Everything is wired for us to be wired. I have a deeper gratitude for 1 Peter 5:7 and Matthew 6:27 now. So, I learned to choose God's peace, to slow down, and to rest over the "societal norms and timelines" to help cancel out a lot of anxiety.
Silence is sometimes the best answer, but don't forget that the enemy's tactic is to isolate and drown you in loneliness. Know when it's time to reach out to your tribe. Pray for the right tribe and community. Feverishly pray for God to connect you with the right people. It is so important. Remember Galatians 6:2.
Your progress is in your hands and yours only. Three places have been stagnant in my life for a while. Three places I have complete control over and three places I chose not to prioritize and be too comfortable in. I own it. Proverbs 21:25 and Proverbs 12:24 are super clear about laziness. Simply desiring isn't progress. Desire isn't an action. Gotta put some grind behind that desire. And do something that's never been done. No matter how big or small the goal is. There's no award for staying the same. There's actually death attached to no vision. The Bible says the people perish. Don't choose to be fruitless because you decided to be comfortable instead. Know that no one can choose change for you- only you can decide. Only you can execute.
Is it rebuilding or building? Sometimes, we lose everything, and we want restoration and to rebuild, but what if God tore "it" down so that it could be properly rebuilt? He may use some of the bricks 🧱 from the past or give us new materials. Even if it doesn't look like what you wanted or doesn't come the way you thought. Ask yourself if you're okay with what He gives you. And will you still submit to his authority?
Your perspective is your path forward or your path to destruction. Even during tough times, choose to be present. Don't waste the season you're in. Ask God what He is trying to show you. Mediate on James 1:5 and 2 Thessalonians 3:5.
God's timing is perfect. It doesn't feel that way when you're in the grey area and have no answers about what's next, but God knows. He knows, He knows, He knows. I believe without doubt that He is an on-time God, that He is Omega, He is Faithful and True, and He is God over all. He is many things; trust in the character of God. The more you choose to set aside intimate time to LISTEN to him, the deeper you get to know him and can attest to who He is.
Quiet the mind to your inner critic and fear and turn up the volume on God's word and his truth. Push yourself, but be aware of the root of negative self-talk and loathing. You are enough, and you're allowed to want more- you're allowed to want God's best for you. Just go to God to learn what God's best is for you. No one else has the answer. Nothing else will fulfill you like the Lord. Psalm 42:8 and Jeremiah 29:11.
"For nothing will be impossible with God," Luke 1:37. That's it—very simple. No matter what season I find myself in, nothing is impossible for the God I serve. Thank you, Jesus!
But that's not all. In my "dark grey" living, I also realized I had forgotten Garden 2 Purpose's mission for a while. I chose to elevate my problems above what God called me to do. But a few months ago, God reminded me that He's faithful even when I'm not. G2P reached 12 countries this year; some were Thailand, Singapore, Russia, France, Canada, Germany, and the Republic of Korea. That's not all; there was a 35% growth over last year. My eyes water thinking about this because even when I wasn't writing and being consistent, God showed me that he had never taken his hands off of me. Even when I doubted myself, He showed me that my story is His glory. And for that, I am thankful. I am profoundly grateful.
There have been highs and lows, and this year was a little more challenging than others, but I don't want to miss the opportunity to honestly say that even though it was hard, God is still so good beyond measure. The ways He's made can't even be described. Even when He didn't bless me directly, He used beautiful people to bless me. He uses everything and everyone—never get arrogant, and believe you know His methods! The Waymaker isn't predictable. Trust the impossible.
This year, I've experienced so much joy, grief, doubt, deep belly laughs, sadness, happiness, some set-ups, some letdowns, new experiences, lots of grace, tons of mercy, help from others, and loads of clarity and conviction. And I wouldn't change it for the world. *Deep breath* I accept and release this year, Lord. Thank you for it all.
Thank you, everyone, for going on this journey with me. I can't wait for what's to come in 2025!
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